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| Our Easter photo this year. |
The NBC Nightly News crew asked me yesterday why I became a stay-at-home mom and I was a bit stumped. I feel like this “job” chose me…and I’m so glad it did. It’s like I am living a life I didn’t know I wanted until I got it. Now, I can’t imagine life any different.
When I moved to Atlanta with my then-fiance (now husband) I was on hiatus from a TV show I was producing. I didn’t want to jump into anything else right away so I thought I’d take some time off to plan our wedding and dabble in PR a bit. When I came home from our honeymoon pregnant, it seemed like fate that I didn’t have a job to report to. Sure we could have used the money but now that I was nurturing a life inside me, I couldn’t imagine going back to the crazy world of TV journalism and leaving my child in daycare. That works for a lot of women, but it wasn’t the life I wanted for myself. And then when baby #2 came 17 months later, and baby #3, 17 months after that, it only made sense to keep staying at home. Do you know how much it costs to put three kids in day care???!!???
My husband and I have had to make a lot of sacrifices because of our decision to have me be a stay-at-home mom. We are a one-car household. We will have 4 kids in a 3 bedroom house. We don’t eat out very much and I clip coupons to save on groceries. We buy second-hand clothes for the kids and don’t get to see my family in Wisconsin or Arizona as much as I’d like. My clothes mostly come from the sale rack at Target. My husband just doesn’t buy himself anything new at all. But that’s OK with us. I don’t feel like I’m losing out or missing anything. I’ve gotten creative when it comes to saving money and am still giving the kids some great experiences. And they will only be young once.
I’m very lucky to have a hard-working, understanding and helpful husband who supports me as a stay-at-home mom. I know not everyone has such a great partner. As we ready our house and our lives for baby #4 next month, I just feel really blessed that my life has turned out like this. When I lived in a downtown Chicago high-rise, a TV producer at Oprah by day and single-in-the-city girl by night, I could have never imagined my life would feel so complete in a crowded home in Atlanta’s suburbs. I am a lucky girl.
Why did you make the choice you made?
I love this..I have two toddlers in daycare and TRUST ME it’s a killer.. SAHM are just as important as women who work in the workforce… 🙂
Maria I’m so proud to know you. Your positive attitude inspires me.
I became a stay-at-home mom after realizing the benefits of staying home with my kids outweighed the costs of being at a 9-5, then fighting Atlanta rush hour traffic only to begin the evening marathon to grab the kids from day care, get home as fast as I can to get dinner on the table, bathe the kids, pack lunches, get school uniforms ready and have an hour with the kids, if I was lucky, before sending us off to bed to rest so we could do it four more days in a row. The difficulty of getting a stable journalism job in Atlanta, the politics of the workplace, and the emotional toll of being away from my girls for most of the day made staying home the best option for me. My husband agreed with this choice.
Along the way, I have done creative things for income including working at my girls’ preschool as an art and aftercare teacher and selling real estate. My career choices didn’t make me rich but did give me some additional funds besides the allowance my husband gives me in addition to more time with our girls. I have enjoyed volunteering for many events at my girls’ school because of my availability.
Some days I feel I am doing the job God intended for me, however, with 3 girls (ages 7, 5 and 1), I also feel overwhelmed and lament the life I abandoned as a single journalist ready to take on the world. Having recently relocated from our home in Atlanta to a 3 bedroom apartment in New York as a result of my husband’s job, my patience and sanity are tested regularly. I desperately want to re-enter the work force but find it hard to get companies to take a chance on me after being away from journalism for 7 years.
Staying at home definitely requires sacrifices. I want to provide. I want the beautiful life (a nice home with the best furniture, the option of eating out on a whim, the best vacations, private school, etc.). I believe it all matters in the end and I am determined to find a way.
Tameka O.
Good for you and your family! It sounds like everything has worked out well for you all, despite the sacrifices you have to make. One of my friends decided to work part-time to spend more time at home. When I asked her how they were managing financially she said something I will never forget – “well, I told my husband that when I’m old and gray one day on my death bed, I can’t imagine thinking I had wished I’d spent more time working and less time with my children.”
I can’t believe you moved here from Chicago! I came (grudgingly) from a highrise in Chicago (Clark/Division) to Atlanta nearly 11 years ago 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing your personal story! I’m a stay-at-work mom and it was extremely difficult returning back to work after our first child. I give stay-at-home moms much props!
Maria I truly appreciate the honesty in this post. I’m a work at home mom and it’s tough. I’ve been a stay-at-home pretty much for the last 6 years since I moved to Georgia. I run my own biz now and that’s even tougher. That’s a whole OTHER blog post. But thanks for your honesty in this post.
Maria-
I was a SAHM for about the first 2 years of Devin’s life then went to work for a year. After working for a year and finding it so difficult to rush back and forth to work getting him to daycare being late to work regularly and then sometimes being late to pick him up, it just wasn’t worth it. My salary wasn’t much and I was only seeing Devin 2 hours a day before it was time for his bedtime. I am now at home again, however Devin is still in school most days, I am working on myself as far as education etc, so that when I do return to workforce I can have a job that is flexible and pays decent.
The best benefits of stay home is that I get to spend more quality time teaching and doing special things with my son, also we eat dinner at reasonable time etc.
I saw you on the news and let me say I think you do an amazing job with all your little ones. The days I stay home all day with Devin sometimes can be a challenge and definitely wear me out 🙂
Maria,
I am a stay at home mom as well with a small business on the side. I feel that being a stay at home mom chose me as well. I received several college degrees knowing that I wanted to climb the corporate ladder, but once I had my second child, I know that they needed me more. I cannot imagine not being able to take my kids to school, attend special school events or help with homework when they need me.
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