Turning 50: What I’m Leaving Behind and Keeping

I’m turning 50 this month. Man, that seems so old. I’ve been doing something I think everyone should do at a milestone: taking inventory. First, I had to admit that some of what I’m carrying, I packed on purpose. Secondly, I needed to believe that some of it is a bag someone handed me years ago, and I never put it down. Over the years, I’ve learned that some of it serves me. Some of it doesn’t.

This is my 50th birthday list. Yes, I also have a 50th birthday gift list for me, or another lucky lady. But this turning-50 list includes ideas I sorted into what’s going and what’s staying. Honestly, if you’re looking for things to let go of (or hold onto) before 50, I hope some of these sound familiar.

25 Things to Let Go of When Turning 50

1. Caring what other people think. Most of them are busy worrying about what I think of them anyway.
2. Assuming everything is my fault. Sometimes it’s the weather, the traffic, or someone else’s bad day.
3. Feeling guilty about things I can’t control. Guilt without power to change anything is just weight.
4. Putting myself last. I’m not the emergency backup plan in my own life.
5. Saying “I’m fine” when I’m not. I’m retiring this phrase except when it’s true.
6. Apologizing for taking up space. I’m allowed to be here. I’m allowed to be my full self here. I’m allowed to be loud and tall and big and black and whatever else I want to be.
7. Over-explaining my “no.” “No” is a complete sentence. It even comes with a period.
8. Replaying conversations from 2019 at 2 a.m. Nobody else remembers them. Not one person. I can let it go.
9. Waiting until I feel ready. Ready doesn’t show up. You start scared, and ready catches up later.
10. Comparing my chapter 3 to someone else’s highlight reel. The math never works out in my favor. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt
11. Saying yes just to keep the peace. The peace I’m keeping is usually only other people’s.
12. Treating rest like something I have to earn. I don’t need a doctor’s note to take a break.

1. Holding onto friendships that only run one direction. I’ll always be glad for what they were, but I can stop doing all the driving.
2. Dressing for an imaginary audience. The invisible jury has been dismissed, so the high heels can go!
3. Believing that being low-maintenance means having no needs. I have needs, and I’m going to say them out loud.
4. Making myself smaller so others feel comfortable. Instead, they can adjust their chairs.
5. Taking criticism from people I wouldn’t take advice from. In fact, credentials do matter.
6. Treating mistakes like proof I’m failing. Honestly, mistakes are just evidence I was trying something.
7. Overthinking every text before I send it. Hit send, put the phone down, and go live a little.
8. Pretending I’m not hurt to seem easygoing. Being easygoing and being a doormat are not the same thing. Also, it’s ok to be sensitive.
9. Carrying other people’s moods like they’re my responsibility. I can still be kind without being the weather system for everyone around me.
10. Scrolling until I feel worse. The phone gets fewer minutes, and so does the comparison trap.
11. Letting fear make my decisions. Fear can ride along, but it doesn’t get the wheel.
12. Saving the good stuff for a “special occasion.” The nice candles, the good shirt, the fancy mug. Today is the occasion.
13. Believing I have to have it all figured out. Nobody does. The people who seem to have it all figured out but are probably just as confused as me, except with better posture.

That’s the heavy stuff. Honestly, it felt good to write down, and even better to share with you. But letting go is only half of the job. Now for the fun part: the things I’m holding onto with both hands.

25 Things I’m Taking With Me When Turning 50

26. Valuing nature. Trees, trails, and quiet mornings have done more for my head than most advice ever has.
27. Loving cheese pizza, even if it’s boring. It’s reliable, it’s comforting, and it has never once let me down.
28. Sleeping in whenever I can. After all, rest is not laziness. It’s maintenance.
29. Being at every game I can. Showing up in the stands, cold hands and all, is how I say “I’m in your corner.”
30. Showing up for the people I love. Presence beats perfection every time.
31. Laughing at my own jokes. Somebody has to, and I’m a great audience.
32. Going outside, even when I don’t feel like it. I have never once regretted a walk.
33. Saying “thank you” and meaning it. Gratitude is free, and it goes a long way.
34. Keeping my sense of humor through the hard stuff. It’s gotten me through more than anything else has.
35. Cooking and eating real meals with my family. The best conversations happen over food, so I plan to keep eating!
36. Staying curious. There’s always something I don’t know yet, and that’s the fun part.
37. Being the person who builds traditions. Small gestures become big ones. I love being the one who puts up the Christmas ornaments and reminds everyone of our shared histories.
38. Letting myself cry when I need to. It’s a pressure valve, not a flaw. Emotions are clouds that pass by and will not stay.

Check out the one thing I wished for my 40th birthday. (Man, that seems like a long time ago!)

26. Loving hard, even when it’s risky. I’d rather love and lose than armor up and miss it.
27. Keeping the old photos and the old stories. They’re proof of where I’ve been and who was there.
28. Singing in the car, badly and loudly. Zero regrets and no critics.
29. Trusting my gut. It’s been right more often than I’ve admitted, so I choose to keep believing.
30. Taking the scenic route. If there’s a view, I’ll make time, when I can, to appreciate it.
31. Holding on to the people who held on to me. The ones who stayed through the messy parts are the real ones.
32. Being stubborn about what matters. Stubbornness in the right places is just integrity.
33. Requiring my family to put our phones down at dinner. The people in front of me deserve the best of me, and I deserve the best of them too.
34. Wearing the comfortable thing. Comfort is a personality trait, and I’m keeping it.
35. Celebrating the small wins. A finished to-do list or a good hair day counts.
36. Letting myself be proud of how far I’ve come. I’ve survived many hard days, and that’s a pretty good track record.
37. Remembering that I matter, too. Not last, not later, not after everyone else. In the end, I matter just as much as everyone else.

Turning 50 Reflections: The Bottom Line

Looking back over this list, the things I’m leaving behind are mostly about fear, and the things I’m taking with me are mostly about love. For that reason, this feels like a pretty good way to start my 50s.

If you’re turning 50 soon, or you just feel ready to let go of a few things, what would be on your list? Tell me what you’re leaving behind and what you’re keeping in the comments.

Pin these photos below to remind yourself of the things you are keeping and the things you are letting go.