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| My 4 reasons to stay-at-home |
Being happy and being a stay-at-home mom are not mutually exclusive entities.
I am a stay-at-home mom. I don’t apologize for it. I don’t beat behind the bush about it. I left my “high power” job as a TV producer to concentrate on my family. And I’m glad I did. I’m happy. My family, which now includes four kids and a husband, is happy. I “opted out” 7 years ago and that was the best decision I ever made. So when I read today’s New York Times article, “The Opt-Out Generation Wants Back In“, I was a little disappointed.
There is an angle missing from this article and that is one of the women who left behind the six-figure salaries but have found a way to be fulfilled while being home with their families. One of the women in the article, Kuae Mattox, is the national president of Mocha Moms, Inc, a national non-profit for stay-at-home moms of color. I’ve been a member for six years and have loved getting to know other women who have made the choice, in one way or another, to put their families first. For some it only lasts a short time and others, like myself, feel privileged and content to continue being at home long term. Happy stay-at-home mothers DO exist. We all don’t want to opt back in.
I respect Kuae’s candidness and the choices she has made, and will continue to make, for her family. She wants to opt back into the workforce, and maybe I will too one day. Everyone has to make the best choices for themselves and their families, and those choices may change over time. But for now, I’m a happy stay-at-home mom. My freelance writing and this blog give me a great creative outlet, and I use my educational credentials and work experience to be a better mother to my four children. I have a messy house, serve frozen pizza occasionally, and I do not throw Martha Stewart-esque parties, but I’m a happy stay-at-home mom who is exactly where she is supposed to be in this life: at home.
I so agree with you, Maria! I read that article today and it annoyed me. I am happy and my family is happy with me being at home. If that changes, I’ll change with it but for this season it works, so why change it?
Yes!!! I totally agree Nicole! It’s not for everyone but for some of us, it’s what we were meant to do!
Great post! I think many more moms feel the way you do, happy and fulfilled being at home, myself included. I have always felt that it’s to each their own regarding the choice, but it would have been nice to have had both sides represented.
Right Diqueta! I think the article was though-provoking but just needed another side thrown in.
My thoughts exactly!
Oh you guys! I’m so glad I’m not alone thinking this way! By the way, I can’t WAIT to see Kuae talk about this tomorrow. She is awesome and has been a great role model for us Mocha Moms.
Thanks Maria I was so thinking some of us are happy too! For more than ten years I have loved being a Stay At Home Work at Home Mom. I can say I have went back to work in a regular nine to five job once for about a year. And that was not for me! :-(. I enjoy too like you the balance of family working contracts for various things here and there and running my small business is a great balance for me. Yes some of us are HAPPY!
Totally Teresa!
Something I always say is that you do what you have to do for your family. I was a stay at home mom for a long time and LOVED it. Sure there were days it was hard, and I missed adult interaction – but having that time with my children was wonderful. Situations dictate as a single mom now I had to return to the work force, but you know what – we make it work and I (and my children) are happy.
I enjoyed reading this. I actually I wish I could be the one at home but … oh well. I think it’s a blessing you are able to be there with the kids by choice.
While I have struggled with my self-worth issues since staying home (that first 2 yrs was the worst), there is no doubt it was the best decision for our family in general. It was a shock, especially since I never had intentions of be a SAHM. A conviction, when I was pregnant, caused me to change my desire and tick me off at the same time.
In the dual-income, Power-Woman, job-equality society we built our careers in– we have left both husband and wife at a disadvantage to properly support the stay-at-home mom. It was easier for me to feel valued from my husband when he could croon about me being a neurophysiologist. People would rather hear about his wife’s experience in a difficult 5 hour pediatric scoliosis surgery; as opposed to his wife’s difficult 5 hour marathon of getting pee’d on while trying to potty train. While it has been a struggle for us as a couple, we have both come to realize just how powerful his words are to me. I no longer have co-workers, reviews, raises, or awards to validate my worthiness. It has taken a while, but my husband goes out of his way to tell me ‘thank you’. He brings me flowers, and exclaims how he is so thankful for my decision to stay home. He also supports my endeavors at travel writing and pursuing dreams that fit much better with our new way of life. Without adequate support from my husband, I would have returned to the traditional workforce within those first several years. Instead, we have forged a new way, one that I am increasingly more satisfied and blessed. I even get to pursue dreams that would have seemed out of my reach or silly.
Staying at home isn’t a woman’s job…..it’s a couple’s job.
This is so true Lori, it IS a couple’s job.
I have kept a part-time gig since Amelia was born. I personally couldn’t go fully into the “home” thing. My at-work days go by faster and feel good to me. But I never think critically about anyone who does stay home, nor towards those who work full-time. Who am I to know what works for each mom and each family? Articles like that one generalize huge groups of moms, when in fact, every single mother is different from the next!
This is a great article!! Yes I am happy where I am. Home appears to be where I am needed. I love being able to be home with my babies.
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