I wrote a post recently about how hard it is to have kids in the baby stage (5 and under). My woe-is-me article was all about how I just have to accept that life is hard and crazy with a houseful of kids and that I just have to endure these physically demanding years. I whined about not getting enough sleep and having a dirty house. Cue the violins.
You see after I wrote that post I expected people to tell me that I was so right and the baby stage is so hard. I thought women with older kids would pat me on my back telling me they remembered those “awful” early days. I expected other moms to commiserate with me. That’s not what I got.
I had a mom stop me at the gym to tell me how she wishes she hadn’t been so quick to get her tubes tied after her first pregnancy and how she misses just having the opportunity to be in the baby stage again. I had another mom pass by me during preschool pickup and mention she would love to stay in the baby stage by adding another child but her husband is not onboard. Yet another confessed that she didn’t want her child to be an only child but infertility seems to have claimed any hope for her to carry again. And then I saw on the news that a mother lost 4 of her 5 children in a fire. I wonder if she’s complaining about how “hard” taking care of little kids can be.
The post I wrote is valid, but after talking to so many women who want to have my “problems” I have been humbled. I must learn to appreciate this stage of life. I will never again have a houseful of little kids. Each day they grow and learn and if I quit worrying about potty training and cleaning messes and making sure they eat their peas I won’t miss it. It is an honor to be a mom. It is an honor to be home with my children. It is an honor that God has entrusted at least 4 souls to my safe keeping. So if you see me around, just tell me to quit complaining. Being a mom is hard. NOT being a mom when you want to be is even harder.
People ask me how I do it all the time with five kids. First off I don’t do it alone. So I hope your husband is as helpful as mine. It makes things easier when he loads the laundry and cooks dinner at least 3 of the 7 nights during the week. He disciplines and he gets the kids ready for bed too. He helps with homework and sometimes he just takes over and I lay in the bed and watch TV while he manages the house. It is a shared responsibility. So I have never been as exhausted as a lot of moms. It’s not easy by no means, but it’s not that tough either. Now my kids are at a stage where they load the dishwasher, clean the kitchen and fold the clothes after I wash them. They are trained to clean up their room and do chores. Maria you don’t have to do it all and you shouldn’t. Motherhood should be a joy and not a hindrance. 🙂