Dear one, do you feel like your life is falling apart right now? Are you wondering why you are here? Are you dancing with thoughts of leaving this world? I see you. And I hear you. And I’m right here with you now.
I want you to know something: What you’re feeling right now is not the Truth. It is true to you, I understand. I am not discounting your feelings. But hear me: they are feelings. They will pass. Everyone says that, but you know it to be true. They have passed before.
When life is falling apart, you need to hold on.
Do you know how necessary you are? How essential you are to this world? It’s not just about doing carpool and getting the laundry done. You are vital to the well being of so many people. Your softness has a way of rounding out the sharp edges of life. You smooth things out for so many people…like a road full of potholes you instinctively fill in. If you weren’t here the world would be missing a piece of its completed puzzle. It wouldn’t be whole.
The world needs you.
Yes, your kids need you and your husband and work needs you, but the world needs you too! You are critical, and not just for the mundane things you do, though those are more important than you think. The harried waitress you smiled at as you added to her tip needs you. The 8 year old girl at the playground needs the reassuring shoulder squeeze you gave her.
This is what depression really feels like.
You have inserted yourself into so many communities and groups and families and they all would be affected if you all of the sudden dropped out. The loss of you would bring on a wave of grief over dozens of people. Hundreds maybe. It’s true. You can’t see it but you would leave a legacy of sadness, anger and grief.
I know it’s hard.
You have come out of this blanket of sadness before and you can again, BUT next time it might get worse. Next time it feels like life is falling apart you might sink lower and not be able to pull yourself up. And you can’t know when you are in that place. You won’t know instinctively when you are in a danger zone. Ask the people in your corner to help out. You must reach out. It is necessary to connect with those who love you. I need you to know that love is out there and it is trying to infiltrate the armor you have created.
This is what I need you to know when life is falling apart:
God is looking down on you with the sad eyes of a worried father. He is in the soft glow of a fire, warming your hands on a bitter winter day. You can find God in the knowing smile from a stranger. He is in the burst of sunshine that follows days of rain, and in the sweet bedtime kiss your almost-too-old-for-kisses daughter gives you at the end of a long week. He is all around you. Love, remove your blinders, and open yourself to seeing Him.
When life is falling apart please know you can can endure. You can do this. You can survive.
Thank you for these wonderful important words of love & encouragement.