The first day of kindergarten for parents can be scary. It can be exciting. It can be produce grief. And I’ve learned, after doing it 4 times in 6 years, it can be all of those things wrapped in one. Here is my letter to you.
First Day of Kindergarten for Parents
Your child is entering the hallowed halls of elementary school. Gulp. He’s totally ready, right? She’s got her backpack packed, correct? The lunch made and you’ve met all the teachers and bought all the supplies. You child is excited and scared and nervous, but totally ready. Maybe it’s you who’s not ready. Maybe it feels like you should be…but you just aren’t. That’s OK!
This is a big transition. Do you feel it? Sometimes it’s easier to focus on how many glue sticks you have to buy (48 this year by the way!) than what you’re feeling. You go to the PTA meet-and-greet and make sure the kids all have shoes without holes for the first day (at least) but maybe you haven’t allowed yourself to feel the bigness of this life transition. Your baby is going to kindergarten. That. Feels. Big. It did to me. Every. Single Time.
[Read more: I don’t want him to go to kindergarten.]
First day of kindergarten parents: What you need to know
First Day of Kindergarten Parents: It’s OK to be sad.
I was sad. I shed tears thinking about the day my youngest would enter kindergarten for two years. The truth was that I was used to being a mom of little kids. Being a preschool mom made sense to me. I was used to having a buddy to tag along with me. Rushing through the streets to not be the last one in the carpool line at noon was familiar to me. Now, I’m not that mom anymore. My kids all have lunch with someone else. Every. Day. They ride the school bus. My kids make friends and I don’t know the friend’s mom. They have figured out there’s a big, wide world beyond mommy. That makes me sad but for the first day of kindergarten parents I think it’s OK to be sad.
First Day of Kindergarten Parents: It’s OK to be excited.
Even though I felt a bit heartbroken, I also found myself feeling guilty too because I’m excited. The idea that I’d have from 7:00 to 2:30 on my own every single day was mind blowing . “I could vacuum or go to the movies. I could take on more paying writing work. Maybe I could clean the kitchen or meet friends for lunch and maybe finally hang up those pictures I’ve been meaning to hang. I might even sleep.” I thought. Sleep! In actuality, I did some of those things, but mostly I had time to breathe and to I wasn’t so busy all the time. I was able to write more and that turned into more money in my pocket. I think that’s OK to be excited about all of that.
First Day of Kindergarten Parents: It’s OK to cry…or not.
Maybe you’re crying out of sadness. Maybe you’re crying out of joy. Perhaps you aren’t really sure where the tears are coming from and you don’t feel like analyzing them right now. That’s OK. Just cry. There’s a line in an old folk song my sisters and I sang as a kid that goes, “show me your frown, make it sad like a clown. It’s OK. You can frown. It’s OK with me…when you’re down.” Just do your best to hold off the tears until after you drop your child off. No use having both of you cause a scene. And by the way, if you don’t feel like crying, that’s OK too.
First Day of Kindergarten Parents: You’re not alone
I want all kindergarten parents to know I’m with you. For all you first day of kindergarten parents, I get it. I’m right there on this emotional roller coaster with you. It might make you nauseous one minute and then yelping with the thrill the next. But I’m here and I’m buckled in. I’m not getting off.
When my youngest went to kindergarten, someone commented that I looked like I just lost my best friend. And well…it’s because I kind of did. I missed my little guy and I decided to give myself room to feel and not pretend I was OK with this transition. I didn’t wallow in it and eventually I was OK with it. Eventually I embraced the change and you will too.
There is another post for another time on the joys of children growing up and how amazing this journey of parenthood can be. My heart is full to overflowing when I think of these four children I’ve been blessed with, but for today, I’m just a mom reflecting on how hard it is to let go, even when we know we must.
Love,
Maria
