To the girls called fat,
Hello Beautiful. Yes, you. The one they called fat in grade school. And the one they call fat now. And the one who calls herself fat though most people around her would beg to differ. YOU are whom I am talking to today. You, the beautiful one.
Did you know that the number on the scale or on the tag scratching your neck right now doesn’t define you? Did you know those numbers don’t make you “bad”? Nor would lower ones make you good? Do you know no matter what those numbers are, if they go up or come down or always stay exactly what they are right now, that your goodness, your beauty, the love and light within you will never diminish or brighten. Do you know your weight is not you?
People will tell you that you’d be beautiful if…that once you do XYZ you’ll be gorgeous…that after some transformation, either big or small, you will look perfect. And looking perfect is the goal right? Except it’s not. Because we can never be perfect no matter how hard we try, no matter how much work we put in, no matter if we starve or throw up or exercise ourselves to oblivion or try each and every diet Oprah and all our role models are hawking right now. The trick of the whole thing is that we are trying to turn every which way to make ourselves perfect when the Truth of the matter is that we were born perfect. You…me…all of us…we are already perfect.
Did you know that there are no good foods or bad foods? Food is fuel and was created to run our bodies. But let’s be honest, it can also be delicious and mouth-watering and heart-warming. But food is not a friend. It does not comfort you though it tries to fool you into thinking that full belly feeling is comforting. Food is not love. Food can numb you…can make you forget…can occupy your time to distract you from all the feelings coursing through your head at any given time. But it is not a friend.
Did you know that “fat” is not a feeling? “Huge” “disgusting” and “enormous” aren’t feelings either. They are cries for help. You are none of those things. I don’t care how big you think you are. Are you lonely? Sad? Angry? Frustrated/depressed/hurt? Think about what it is you are truly feeling when these thoughts rush into your head. Instead of constantly comparing yourself to the people around you, try turning those conscientious eyes inward. All those feelings that are bubbling up, laying just below the surface that you try desperately to fan away…feel them. Then remember, like clouds, feelings pass.
Beautiful girl, God is looking down on you with warm, crinkly eyes and holding a hand out to you. He will wait forever. He is not judging you. He is not adopting a disapproving stare. He does not have his arms folded, glancing at his watch every couple seconds waiting for you to get it together already. He loves you. Just as you are. Right now. And He always has. He thinks the you He created was, is, and will always be perfect.
Reducing your waistline will not reduce the fear that is gripping your heart. Lowering your weight will not lower the feeling of loneliness threatening to envelop you. You may still be sad even if you drop a few dress sizes. I wish you could see you are enough right now. Do you know YOU ARE ENOUGH?
While being physically healthy is important, I believe it’s just as important to be emotionally healthy…to be mentally healthy. Don’t believe the hype. Being thinner will not make you a better person. It will not make you nicer or kinder or win you more friendds. Loving yourself RIGHT NOW though will bring out the best that’s hiding in you.
To all the girls called fat, can you love yourself? All of yourself? Can you believe you are beautiful no matter what the numbers/crowds/friends/moms at the park say? Can I? Let’s try together.